Tuesday, November 21, 2006
our prince, pt.1
well, it's been an amazing month in torres-bowser household. we had a fantastic time on our cruise. a whole week of meeting new people, going to fun shows, dancing and EATING. the food was to die for (not in a carnival cruise sort of way). we made a lot of new friends and had a great time with our roommate brain and his sexy boyfriend rob. i'm sure i got a ton of stuff i could elaborate on but i know you all want to get to the big story that happened after the cruise.tony and i got back from the cruise on saturday the 4th of November. prior to the cruise we had said that when the cruise was over that we really needed to get on our social worker and get things happening. i mean, lately the story was we would get information about a kid (or two), tony and i would say let's proceed and then a month would go by with nothing and then finally a phone call, "sorry, the kid's been taken." we usually weren't too bummed out because in the adoption game you know there are going to be a lot of ups and downs. anyway, tony and i promised that we were going to really be squeaky wheels. we hadn't even made a single phone call and our social worker calls us on tuesday Nov. 7th with news of a 6 month old boy, african american mother and that is all the social worker knows at that moment. would we be interested because she said the baby's social worker contacted HER about us. we were a bit puzzled and excited and told our social worker to find out more information, but as of now, yes, we'd like to proceed. on thursday Nov. 9th our social worker calls us and now she has a lot more information, but still no pictures. she says that the baby's social worker wants to move into a disclosure meeting the following tuesday.
now, for those who aren't familiar with adoption terminology, a disclosure meeting is the time where you meet with the social workers and they open up a huge file on the kid and start reading it to you. you pretty much learn as much as is on record about the child. his parents, foster parents, siblings, mental and physical backrgound, birth notes, the whole nine yards. the other thing about a disclosure meeting is that a social worker will not offer one to a family unless they already know that the family is a good match.
knowing this, tony and i were pretty bowled over and said yes. tuesday Nov. 9th we drove over to sacramento and met with the social workers. the disclosure meeting went pretty well then the social worker showed us a picture of the baby. tony and i knew he was the one. he had to be. but near the end i felt we had hit a bump in the road. something came up that they hadn't realized was in our home study. though they said it wasn't a problem, i just felt defeated. after the meeting i tried so hard to keep a positive attitude, but let me tell you, the doubt was coming in strong and i was getting really sad. i mean, after seeing the face of our "maybe baby" i just wanted him so badly.
we were told that we needed a 24 hour cool off period before we could say yes or no to the adoption. we waited and on the 15th we called our social worker and said, "YES!". that day at work was one of the longest days i ever experienced. we waited and waited to hear something and fianlly at 4:00 on a conference call the baby's social worker said, "we want you to have him."
there are times in your life where you think "life cannot get better than this." but man, hearing those words that you are a daddy, that you actually have a son on his way. it's just something so hard to put into words. and the things i was feeling at that time can't even compare to the first time i held him in my arms... but now i'm getting ahead of myself.
ok, i know you're going to hate me, but i got to stop here. i PROMISE i will finish the story. there is so much more to tell. thanks to all of you who emailed congrats and stuff. we really appreciate it.
11/21/2006 08:51:00 AM | link me
Links to this post | 9 comments9 Comments:
Congratulations!
By Matt, at 11/21/2006 11:05 AM
Congrats, Victor!!! Can't wait to hear the rest of the story.
By Joe L, at 11/21/2006 2:42 PM
Congratulations!
I remember that period when we were waiting to meet Baby R. I thought it would never happen and after the first meeting we knew he was the one.
Can't wait to hear more.
ps the cruise looked fun. A lot of friends were on it, we didn't think the Baby was quite ready for a Bear Cruise. Looking at their pictures I saw a distinctive tattoo on the dance floor. LOLBy Bacchus, at 11/21/2006 9:23 PM
tease!
By Moby, at 11/22/2006 12:41 AM
Congratulations on your baby! I haven't read in a while and was so happy to hear your news (and insanely bitter about living in FL where gays are only allowed to be foster parents).
shoemakerjones.orgBy Shwa, at 11/22/2006 8:54 AM
You guys will make great Daddies.
By Homer, at 11/22/2006 1:44 PM
Awesome! Congratulations, good luck and have fun!
By John, at 11/22/2006 6:59 PM
Vic...I justr found out about your adoption going through. I am absolutely thrilled for you. I happen to be up in the Bay Area at the moment for family Thanksgiving and I am getting to see my month old nephews (that's plural - each of myh sisters were expecting within two weeks of each other). I've already seen one today. And I was ga-ga over him so I can only immagine how yo and the hub are feeling!
I can't say congrats enough and wish you guys a ton of happiness with the babe! We want to see pics at some time.By Tony, at 11/22/2006 8:44 PM
I got all choked up. I've been reading since you were going through the classes. I gotta go freshen up for a minute.
By Pete, at 11/26/2006 8:25 PM
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